The Ideal Roommate

No Beth, don't get excited. This isn't an entry about roomie horror stories - I will write you one later and I promise it will be good. In the meantime though, I think I found the perfect roommate for DC! He e-mailed me just the other day and this is what he had to say:

"i,m an professional artist and architect, i,m a healty guy and many dream in my life i,m very kind and patient ,but inteligent.i have a cute townhouse with living room and one bedroom, share everything,that means we can share the same bedroom ,livingroom,and others if don,t mind,.i,m tottaly respectful for my future roomate,and a lot of fun.i can be with the right person who is healthy and have a dream in her life. maybe you ask me why i want rent my room to a femail .one reason is that the women are cleaner and less messy .and i had bad not good experiences with the guy and good with the girls.if i find a good roomate i,m able to take nothing as a rent from her. i,m a ppassionate and sweet person.you can reach me at 571-243-3498 or hchoobin@yahoo.com."

I mean, other than the fact that he doesn't know the difference between a comma and an apostrophe and he thinks women are inherently connected to the US Postal Service, I think this guy shows real potential. And seriously, how nice is he that he might not even charge me any rent at all? I mean come on! In this day and age when you feel like you can't trust anyone and everyone is just out to take advantage of you or they only want one thing from you, how sweet and selfless is this guy?

Holy flaming fucking shitballs.

Please don't show any of this to my mother or she will lock me in the linen closet to keep me from moving to DC and living with someone I met on the internet.